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Is Your Boyfriend an Emotional Sadist? Here’s How to Tell
Emotional sadists are not always easy to spot. They often hide behind charm, affection, or even humor. But their actions leave emotional scars that can’t be ignored. If you’ve been wondering about your boyfriend’s behavior, this article will help you understand the signs and take the next steps.

What Is an Emotional Sadist?
An emotional sadist enjoys causing emotional pain. It’s not always obvious. They might manipulate, gaslight, or belittle you in ways that leave you questioning your reality.
For example, they might say something hurtful and then brush it off as a joke. Or they may undermine your confidence subtly, over time.
Signs Your Boyfriend Might Be an Emotional Sadist
1. He Thrives on Power Over You
Does he enjoy making you feel small? For example, during an argument, he might say things like:
“You’re overreacting.” “Nobody else would put up with you.”
These words aren’t just harsh; they’re calculated. He knows they’ll hurt you and give him control.
2. He Gaslights You
Gaslighting is a classic tool of emotional sadists. It’s when someone makes you doubt your feelings, memories, or reality. Examples include:
- Denying they said something hurtful.
- Telling you, “You’re crazy” or “That never happened.”
This keeps you on edge and makes you dependent on them for validation.
3. He Makes Jokes at Your Expense
A healthy relationship involves laughter. But if the jokes are always aimed at you, it’s a red flag. For instance:
- He teases you about your insecurities in front of others.
- When you confront him, he says, “It’s just a joke. You’re too sensitive.”
This behavior chips away at your self-esteem.
4. He Controls Through Fear or Guilt
Does he make you feel guilty for wanting personal space? Or maybe he uses fear to keep you in line, saying things like: