Living a Double Life: The Unspoken Rules of Lavender Marriages

Imagine this: In the early 20th century, a famous actor, hiding his true self, marries a woman to keep up appearances. This arrangement, known as a “lavender marriage,” was a way for LGBTQ+ individuals to fit into society’s mold.

What Is a Lavender Marriage?

A lavender marriage is when a man and a woman marry to hide one or both partners’ true sexual orientation.

This was common when being openly gay could ruin careers or even lead to jail. The term “lavender” has been linked to the LGBTQ+ community since the late 19th century.

Back then, society had strict rules about relationships.

Being gay wasn’t accepted, and people faced severe backlash.

To protect themselves, their families, and their jobs, some chose lavender marriages. This way, they could appear “normal” while keeping their true selves hidden.

Famous Examples of Lavender Marriages

Many celebrities entered lavender marriages to protect their public image. For instance, actor Rock Hudson married Phyllis Gates in 1955 amid rumors about his sexuality. Gates claimed she was unaware of Hudson’s true orientation.