When Men Become the Project: The Quiet Rise of Mankeeping

Mankeeping is on the rise. I used to think I was a good guy. The kind who listens, supports, doesn’t cheat, doesn’t yell. I thought that was enough.

But then she left. Quietly. No drama. Just a note on the counter and a half-packed suitcase. And I sat there, stunned — not because I didn’t see it coming, but because I didn’t understand why it came.

It wasn’t until months later, in a late-night scroll through Reddit, that I stumbled on the term mankeeping.

Emotional labor, but gendered.

The unpaid, unacknowledged work women do to manage their male partner’s feelings, schedules, social lives, and self-worth.

And suddenly, I saw myself — not as the good guy, but as the project.

She reminded me to call my mom. She planned our vacations. She noticed when I was spiraling and gently nudged me toward therapy. She carried the weight of my moods, my insecurities, my indecision. And I let her.

I didn’t mean to. That’s the part that stings. I thought I was being vulnerable. I thought I was letting her in. But I wasn’t showing up — I was outsourcing my emotional growth to someone who already had enough on her plate.